On June 19th, 2025, recent UCSB graduate Allen Schultz sat down with an anonymous interviewer at Lazy Dog Kitchen in Fresno, California. This is the exact transcript of their conversation.  Anonymous Interviewer: Alright, great to meet you. Please state your name.  Allen:  Allen Schultz Anonymous Interviewer: Could you please spell it?  Allen: A-L-L-E-N  S-C-H-U-L-T-Z Anonymous Interviewer: Could you possibly spell it again, but with more letters? Allen: A-L-X-Y-L-E-W-J-N  S-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-U-L-T-Z  Anonymous Interviewer: And where are we today?  Allen: Lazy Dog Kitchen. I am eating Fettuccine Alfredo and very much enjoying it.  Anonymous Interviewer: So Allen, what is your involvement with Fig & Vine Magazine?  Allen: I run the satire column and make a bunch of risky jokes about my friends and pray to G-d that they land well.  Anonymous Interviewer: What else were you involved with in your college years? Allen: I was incredibly involved with Hillel, acting as board president for a year and a half. To the point where people would just call me Mr. Hillel and assume that I knew what was going on there all the time, which I definitely did not. I was rush chair and active participant in AEPi, active participant in many other Jewish communities on campus as well. Frequent Chabad goer and Pegisha enjoyer. I led tours, did screenwriting, and worked on student films. Anonymous Interviewer: Cool. Who would win in a fight: a hundred men or one gorilla?  Allen: I would go as far to say that one man, in fact, one boy could beat one gorilla. Let’s call back to the 2016 tragedy of Harambe, where a young boy fell into a gorilla enclosure which ended up with the gorilla getting shot. Yeah, I would say that one boy single handedly took out a gorilla. Granted, would a hundred men together have the balls and the chutzpah of a young child accidentally falling into a gorilla enclosure? I think this is where our debate truly starts.  Anonymous Interviewer: Allen, I think I love you. Would you still love me even if I were a worm?  Allen: What kind?  Anonymous Interviewer: The wiggly kind.  Allen: I like my worms stiff.  Anonymous Interviewer: Oh- is that a no?  Allen: I’ll answer later.  Anonymous Interviewer: Who’s your greatest role model?  Allen: I mean this with all sincerity, Pitbull is one of my greatest role models. I’m blanking on some of the specifics but for my AP Spanish class I needed to do a lot of research on Pitbull and the guy, besides his occasional conservative anti-vax views, has left a really tremendous impact on society. Through his organization and charity work he’s affected a lot of underprivileged youth communities. One such underprivileged youth community he’s dramatically affected is Isla Vista, in the way of giving us music to listen to.  Anonymous Interviewer: What is an unpopular opinion that you hold?  Allen: I don’t believe that George W. Bush was as dumb as he was letting on. I think he lost a bet and I think he’s a very serious man and he took the bet very seriously. I think the things that he said were geniusly hilarious. Some might argue only true stupidity could match, but I put him up there with the great comedy writers of our generation. Definitely unappreciated in his time. Yeah, I don’t think any of it was real. I don’t think he was ever actually president.  Anonymous Interviewer: What’s a popular opinion that you hold?  Allen: It is stupid to believe that our government is spying on us 24/7. Do they have access to all that information? Yes, absolutely, but barely anyone on the planet is cool or important enough to require an FBI agent watching them through their computer. So, whatever you’re worried or concerned that your FBI agent saw you do, trust me when I say they were playing Temple Run during the majority of your life.  Anonymous Interviewer: What are three objects that I’d find in your bedroom? Allen: Handcuffs, a towel covered in black mold (or mold adjacent), and an ostrich shirt.  Anonymous Interviewer: Maybe you want to clarify that the handcuffs are from AEPi’s formal event Champagne and Shackles?  Allen: Yes. And they’ve been used frequently thereafter.  Anonymous Interviewer: This is not true as far as I know.  Allen: There are sources. Anonymous Interviewer: Allen, should I really put this in the article?  Allen: You can decide later.  Anonymous Interviewer:  Okay. Tell us about a time you fucked around and found out.  Allen: I once almost got arrested at a UofO football game for sneaking alcohol into the stadium. When I was threatened with arrest I just went to the other side of the stadium. I did not bother to wipe off the mark that they made on my hand, and used numerous sorority girls to help block my way until I found my friends. I fucked around and found out that I am capable of anything.  Anonymous Interviewer: What’s a memory from UCSB that you’ll carry for the rest of your life?  Allen: When I was walking home from a night downtown, ex-AEPi president Eman Bareket was extremely upset that he had the hiccups. He proceeded to vent this frustration by kicking the car mirrors into every single door that he passed. When someone in the street saw him do that to their own car and they yelled at him, he proceeded to grunt at them and completely ignore confrontation.  Anonymous Interviewer: I was actually looking for something more heartfelt with that question.  Allen: Mmm, okay. AEPi initiations. I’d gone to and from LA a lot my first quarter and was not necessarily the best or most reliable pledge. When I got back from LA the night of initiation, someone else in my pledge class, a good friend of mine, Evan, asked, “Oh where have you been?” At first I thought it was accusatory so I said I’ve been in LA and started apologizing and he said, “No, no, no, you’re good man, it’s just that your presence was really missed. We could feel the lack of you in this space.” This was the first time at SB that I felt like I truly had a real place and purpose there.  Anonymous Interviewer: What is the legacy you want to leave behind at UCSB?  Allen: Drink smart, not safe. Buckets of 20 Fireball shooters are only $20 at IV Liquor Mart. Stop getting Kirkland vodka. It is disgusting, it is not worth it. Stop getting fancy vodka. You don’t deserve it. You haven’t done anything in your life deserving of fancy, really incredible alcohol. What you do deserve is great tasting, bottom of the barrel Fireball. You can get this from IV Liquor mart in shot form, bucket form, bottle form, and preferably, keg form.  Anonymous Interviewer: What is something that you struggled with in college, and how did you overcome it?  Allen: I’m someone who overthinks a lot and can very easily have anxiety attacks. I learned that taking a breath and revisiting things is important. That sharing things with your loved ones is important. It’s very common for people to say “don’t worry, you’re not alone.” Maybe another piece of advice that I would say is that sometimes you can be alone until you reach out to that person. Loneliness can be very palpable and very dire. Rather than saying “you’re not alone,” I would say “don’t make yourself alone.” Find that source of support, because there is someone out there that really truly deeply loves you. Even if you can’t see it yet.  Anonymous Interviewer: What are you looking forward to in your next stage of life?  Allen: I want to tell more Jewish stories. While I appreciate the attention that our community has put forward about recent antisemitism, I feel like the only instances of Jews you hear in modern media is about antisemitism. I really want to focus on all of the positive and joyous elements of being Jewish. I want to get a diverse array of Jewish stories out there, showing the myriad of different people that can and do practice Judaism. I want to express our culture beyond the religion, the politics, and the bigotry that our people have faced.  Anonymous Interviewer: Well, that wraps up my questions. Any closing remarks Allen?  Allen: I want more questions.  Anonymous Interviewer: Uhhh, okay. What is something you want to have in every day of your life?  Allen: The understanding, patience, enthusiasm, joy, and appreciation of everything beautiful in life that I receive from Cokebeer on a daily basis. Cokebeer is this really great thing that I invented. It’s a mixture of Coca-Cola and Root Beer. I think I’d be lost without it. My girlfriend would be pretty great to have around too.  Anonymous Interviewer: What are two things that are great on their own but horrible together?  Allen: Men and intense emotional reactions to sports. Why are you, as a man, wasting tears on a football team that you will never be a part of and likely never meet, when you couldn’t cry at the birth of your child? You helped bring life into this world, and you are such a shallow shell of a man that you cried because… the Celtics lost? Because the Superbowl didn’t go your way? Now, unless it’s about sports gambling. That’s about as masculine of an activity that you can participate in. Anonymous Interviewer: When do you think the waitress will bring us our check? Allen: I don’t know. I think she’s afraid to come over here.  Anonymous Interviewer: Yeah, that’s fair. Umm, what’s a question I should ask you?  Allen:  I think you should ask me if you’re awake right now, or still sleeping.  Anonymous Interviewer: Allen, am I awake or still sleeping?  Allen: Maya, look around you. Is that door opening and closing in the way that it should? Do the people around you look how people should? Do you remember what your food tasted like? Do you have any real sense of any of your five senses? Do you remember how we got to this booth? I am the interviewer now. Maya Kaye, how many times a day do you floss?  Anonymous Interviewee: Times a day? Uhhh, I floss about once a week. Allen:  Do you think the gums between your teeth appreciate that?  Anonymous Interviewee: No :( Allen: Maya Kaye, how often do you donate to the homeless?  Anonymous Interviewee: Like, sometimes.  Allen: Well, that’s great, because I heard that homeless people only need charity some of the time. Maya Kaye, do you know your California state representative?  Anonymous Interviewee: This is so embarrassing, no.  Allen: So you don’t care about yourself, you don’t care about the ill-privileged, and you don’t care about your local community. Maya Kaye, what do you stand for?  Anonymous Interviewee: I hate you. Allen: So you stand on hate?  Anonymous Interviewee: Allen, I’m gonna miss you.  Allen: I’m going to miss you too. But you’ll appear in every single word that I read or see or hear from you. You are an incredible writer and you are going to shape Fig & Vine in unimaginable ways.  Anonymous Interviewee: Allen, this is about you, not me. None of this is going in.  Allen: We’ll see about that.

Easy Chocolate Chip Mandel Bread Recipe Makes: about 24 pieces. Prep Time: 15 minutes. Bake Time: 45 minutes total Ingredients: 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder ¼ tsp salt ¾ cup sugar ½ cup vegetable oil 2 large eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup mini or regular chocolate chips Optional: ½ tsp cinnamon for dough or cinnamon-sugar for sprinkling Instructions: Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Mix dry ingredients: In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix wet ingredients: In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, oil, eggs, and vanilla extract until smooth. Combine: Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture. Stir until a dough forms. Fold in the chocolate chips. Shape dough: Divide the dough in half. With lightly floured hands, shape each half into a log about 10–12 inches long and 2–3 inches wide. Place both logs on the prepared baking sheet with space between them. First bake: Bake for 25–28 minutes, or until lightly golden and set. Remove from oven and let cool for 10 minutes. Slice and bake again: Lower oven to 325°F (160°C). Slice logs diagonally into ½–¾ inch thick pieces. Lay slices cut-side down on the baking sheet. Second bake: Return to oven and bake for another 10–12 minutes. Flip slices and bake 5–10 minutes more until crisp to your liking. Cool completely before storing in an airtight container. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 6th: Rise and shine, Jewish Gauchos! It’s Senate Season here in Sunny Santa Barbara, and our candidates couldn’t be more excited. After an… eventful… 75th Senate, contenders have been working tirelessly to ensure their success this coming Friday.  “It’s an especially invigorating time,” says 1st year candidate, Evan Sussman. “This electorate deserves a high-functioning, vigilant legislative body, which accentuates institutional change over geopolitical and interpersonal conflicts.” While we at Fig and Vine have difficulty processing Mr. Sussman’s vernacular, it appears his sentiments are positive! “I’m so happy! This is so exciting!” says fellow candidate, Erica Sherkin. “At first I was like, a little scared, since they initially postponed the candidacy statements, but I’m sure that was just a fluke!” Reeling in positivity, Erica is certain “this election is going to be amazing.” “Honestly, I’m just happy campaigning is only one week,” reveals Xander Hepburn, a transfer student candidate in the 2025 race. “I got midterms next week. Lucky to be focusing on those.” When questioned about campaigning techniques, Letters and Science candidate Kevin Manavi had this to say: “What election?” Seems like spirits are high, and everyone’s ready for a smooth and noncontroversial ride! Friday, May 9th: Breaking news in the 2025 Associated Student Body race: it appears the voting deadline has been extended, due to unforeseen circumstances. Here’s the response from our candidates… “Yeah, y’know, shouldn’t have jinxed it,” Xander admits. “Candidate forum got shut down halfway through, but that’s fine. Not like I just dry cleaned my suit or anything.” Having just been briefed on the sudden development, Evan Sussman was conflicted. “Really? They’re just extending it? Huh, okay, more time to reach students, so that’s a win.” However, the longer he sat with this information, reality began to hit. “No, yeah, I’m good on sleep. The two hours a night I was getting was probably excessive anyway.” Erica, however, believes it’s all for the best. “This is just ensuring everyone has a voice, and that’s A-okay with me! That is what this is about, right? Wait, why did they extend this again?” When asked how the extension would alter his method of campaigning, Kevin Manavi was quick with his response: “Oh, that’s still going on? Well, good luck to everyone running! Wait…” Tuesday, May 13th: Another voting extension has left candidates, old and new, scrambling to reach that 20%... “I’m generally a really positive person,” Erica exclaims. “But this kind of… sucks? Can I say that? Is that bad? It really feels like this sucks.” “So my opposition doubled in size. That’s super fun,” laments Xander. “And I think I might’ve answered half of my midterm questions with campaign promises. I dunno. It’s all a blur. But looking forward to getting results after Finals! Unless that’s too presumptuous!” Evan Sussman neglected to give a response. Or rather, when prompted with any of our questions, he reacted with a blank stare in the distance. Sources believe he was transfixed by the recurring Carrot Man in the Arbor, however, there’s no way to confirm.  Even current senators are beginning to struggle with their extended terms, such as Jasmine Amin. “I cannot wait to get to Israel!” she remarks. “When senators act selfish, we’re stuck dealing with this dumb ****ing inconceivable ****-infested stupid ******it. (Breath) In fact, -” For younger readers, we’ll spare the remaining five minutes of her response. While extensions have been in part due to insufficient voter turnout, rumors of internal conflict within the 75th Senate have arisen. Could they be staging a coup? Could Yang be assuming the role of Pro Tempore, given his recent announcement of retirement? Or, could the Senate, similar to the student body, have simply forgotten there was an election, just like Kevin Manavi. “Turns out I am running! For sure, 100% a candidate for Letters and Science, whatever that means.” Friday, May 16th: It’s official: the 76th Senate has been elected, and yet, the energy has substantially declined… When first approached for his reaction, Evan gave an emotional response. “What?! What do you want?! I’ve given you everything! I can’t even hear myself think anymore! Bike path through the ILP? Football team for UCSB? Does this school even exist?!” However, when given clarification that the election had ended, he responded with a quiet “I won?” before breaking into tears. “Nap time,” Xander mumbles to himself, over and over, asleep while standing up. “I’m just happy to have been involved, really,” Erica cheers. “Congrats everyone! We did it!” Addressing his loss, Kevin reports: “When I eventually did try getting attention in the Arbor, it just didn’t work. Apparently asking strangers ‘excuse me, do you like democracy’ is too abrasive? Oh well! Is what it is.” We here at Fig and Vine want to deliver an enthusiastic congratulations to all of our candidates, and a job well done to Jasmine, Leah, Dalia, and all our Jewish allies in the 75th Senate. We look forward to a cathartic and tension-free transfer of power at next Wednesday’s meeting!

Get to know creator and editor Lily Karofsky! Throughout the course of the ‘24-’25 school year, Jewish students have had the privilege of being informed, entertained and connected to each other by a magazine catered to our vibrant UCSB Jewish community. As we close out this school year, it seems a perfect time to get to know the mind behind the magazine. Lily Karofsky, resident journalist and Hillel VP of Jewish Life is the heart and soul behind Fig and Vine, making our community more fruitful. She is from a town just outside of Boston called Framingham, which doesn’t sound so Kosher, but here she grew up doing “all the good Jew stuff” – beginning with the influential crafts and songs of Jewish preschool, to joyful family holiday celebrations. A Karofsky sibling viewing of the Rugrats  Passover special each year is a “non-negotiable” holiday tradition. Lily came to be here in Santa Barbara with us after visiting family here during her gap year and falling in love with our sprawling green hills and shimmering ocean waves. She traded her plans of deferral to University in Washington D.C. for a move over to the better coast.  Journalism In grade school, creative writing brought Lily peace through storytelling. She wasn’t exactly passionate about Math and Science, but English and the humanities were where she thrived. Journalistic writing came to her through an internship senior year of high school at the local paper, during which she “loved getting to hear other people’s stories.” At Santa Barbara City College, her professor really sold her on being a journalist when he described it as “one of the only professions where you get paid to be nosy.” A perfect occupation for someone whose definition of TMI is “tell me immediately.” Lily has a beautiful natural curiosity that drives her storytelling.  Finding Home in Santa Barbara’s Jewish Community Being an out of state student, Lily is far from home and family. This was especially difficult through turmoil in personal and social life, and the pain of October 7th. Lily’s brother, a Santa Barbara resident, encouraged her to attend a Hillel event to hear survivors of the Nova Festival speak. Often when we are in pain, we fear bringing others down or wonder how it will help us to be around others who are in pain. As Lily held back her own tears at Hillel, she took a moment to look around, finding that those around her all had tears quietly rolling down their faces, including her brother seated next to her. “It's not about getting rid of the pain, it's about finding people to sit in it with.”  From this point on, the Jewish community in Santa Barbara became a home away from home, and a place for Lily to find comfort in sharing pain, joy and everything in between.  Fig and Vine Sprouts As an aspiring journalist, Lily was following lots of media throughout unrest and antisemitism on college campuses. Media outlets spent a lot of time talking about Jews and Jewish students, but we weren’t often speaking for ourselves. “We deserve our own space- even if it's just for us.” Fig and Vine has been established as a magazine, rather than a newspaper to allow for a “place to talk about the emotions we’re  experiencing”. How we feel often gets washed over by the news, and this magazine opens up space for Jewish students to share their experiences, from the silliest of Jewish humor to meaningful stories of our people. “I just want people to love what they are doing,” Lily says of her delightful group of writers, all of whom are fellow students. One thing she loves about how the magazine has grown is when friends or peers come to her excited with their own ideas for articles and columns. After a very successful year of sharing Jewish perspectives, a bigger goal of Lily’s is to expand Fig and Vine to other UC Jewish communities. “So much happened just on our campus,” and Jewish students across campuses deserve a space to connect through their stories.  Sitting in Community When Lily is not writing or editing for Fig and Vine (or having to reformat Allen’s script articles), she is likely lounging with her cats, Poppy and one-eyed Otis. While they are cozy cuddle buddies, Poppy and Otis are not exactly the best study buddies. They’ve got their own important issues to write about after stalking from the window sill all day, and they’ll need your laptop keyboard to do it!  You may also find Lily snacking on some challah with cream cheese and grape jelly, a classic combo from her childhood (try it out)! Ahead of Lily for the summer is an exciting journalistic fellowship with CAMERA (Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting and Analysis), to help combat antisemitism in the media, which she will continue throughout next school year. She is off to a wonderful start with her initiative in creating Fig and Vine, and her involvement in Santa Barbara Jewish life. Lily has created a beautiful space for us to sit in the pains, the joys, and everything in between together as a community.

It has become common knowledge that Jews were forcibly tattooed when they had to enter concentration camps during the Holocaust, but there is very little known about the tattooists themselves. Were they Nazis? Fellow prisoners? Were they proud of their work or did they dread playing a role in torturing their fellow man? The Tattooist of Auschwitz is a novel written by Heather Morris, published in 2017. The book tells the story of Slovakian Jew, Lale Sokolov, who was imprisoned in Auschwitz in 1942. Because of his ability to speak multiple languages, Sokolov became the “Tatowierer”, the prisoner in charge of tattooing identification numbers on his fellow prisoners. While performing his job as the Tatowierer, Sokolov met Gita Furman when he gave her her number, 34902. Within the first moments of their encounter, Sokolov vowed that he would find a way to survive, and he would marry this girl. The novel follows Sokolov’s journey of using his privileged position as the Tatowierer to help bring food and resources to the other prisoners, and the trials and tribulations that came with that risk. Through multiple separations and reunions, Sokolov and Gita find their way back to each other after the war and were together until Gita’s death in 2003.  The gates of Auschwitz, Poland, 1965. The sign above them is 'Arbeit Macht Frei', which translates to ‘Work Makes You Free'. Originally written as a screenplay, Morris spent years interviewing Sokolov before his death in 2006. The interviewing process took place in Melbourne, Australia, where Sokolov and his beloved Gita Furman moved when the war was over to start a new life and raise their son, Gary.  Throughout her novel, Morris brings the reader into the mind of Lale Sokolov. We get to feel his fear, relish in his sneaky accomplishments, and grieve his losses. Her interview process with Sokolov was so in depth and drawn out that Morris was able to form a whole world for the reader based within Sokolov’s mind. The depiction of Sokolov’s thoughtfulness and attention to detail at every turn continuously sucks the reader in from the moment he gets on the train for Auschwitz.  Quickly after arriving, the men all line up to be marked with their identification numbers with the first chapter of the novel. “The tattooing has taken only seconds, but Lale’s shock makes time stand still.” Wrote Morris. “He grasps his arm, staring at the number. How can someone do this to another human being? He wonders if for the rest of his life, be it short or long, he will be defined by this moment, this irregular number: 32407.”  Despite the initial fear that courses through Sokolov that first day at Auschwitz, hope is a continuous theme throughout the novel, constantly bringing the reader back to the idea that hope is what keeps Sokolov alive. He even says this to Gita during one of their brief weekly reunions, assuring her that hope will keep them alive and she must not forfeit her spirit. The theme of hope is woven through the entire novel, coming to a satisfying full circle moment when Sokolov and Gita finally reunite for good after the war ends and he says he never gave up hope that he would find her.  Morris also uses many of the touching moments to bring the reader's attention back to how important each life is. Her attention to detail for Sokolov’s feelings of guilt and sorrow as he tattooed each wrist is moving. It's clear that no matter how much ink passes through his needle, the pain of permanently altering another prisoner never fades. Regardless of every devastating and demeaning moment Sokolov faced, he never lost his humanity, and this is so vivid in every scene Morris describes.  Chapter six is made up mostly of an elongated scene of Sokolov tattooing a new set of prisoners. He continuously repeats to himself what the last Tatowierer taught him on his first day: “‘Save one, save the world,’ Lale says quietly, more to himself than the others.” There is a  Jewish saying,  “kol adam olam um lo'o” which means “every person is an entire universe”. This value is intrinsically taught throughout Jewish communities starting at a very young age. Each life holds immense value, and therefore should be treated as its own universe entirely.   Sokolov was taught that every person he saved was the equivalent of saving an entire universe, and this was one of the driving forces, along with hope and determination, that kept him going. His drive to help as many other people as he could help keep him alive, and this is continuously depicted by Morris throughout the entire novel. Although some of her writing may be lacking in scenery detail, the reader is never at a loss for what Sokolov was thinking we’re feeling at any given moment. Despite being a beloved and award winning  novel worldwide, including the Winner of the Small Publishers’Adult Book of the Year in Australia, The Tattooist of Auschwitz has also faced criticisms for its occasional historical inaccuracy.  An article  published in The New York Times discussed some disparities in historical facts used throughout the novel. For instance, a literary blogger from New Zealand, Lisa Hill , noted how the story about penicillin in the book was an “obscene distortion of reality” because penicillin was not available to the public until 1945.  “Even if Lale had known about the existence of penicillin, the idea that there would have been any for Jewish use in the Auschwitz hospital is fanciful.” Said Hill.  Despite some minor historical inaccuracies, a more worthwhile conversation may be how trauma affects memory. It's important to understand that Sokolov was in his early 20s when he experienced Auschwitz, and his interviews for this novel didn't take place until his late 80s, after Gita’s death.  Lale Sokolov with his son, Gary, born in 1961. Research  has shown it is extremely common for those who have experienced long periods of trauma to experience distorted memories or memory loss during the period of trauma. So, rather than dissecting every detail that Sokolov may have slightly altered during his interviews, it may be more worthwhile to appreciate the amount of sheer detail the book was able to provide the public and also recognize that over 60 years had gone by at this point. So, whether he requested penicillin or some other form of medicine for Gita really wasn’t the point of the story, but rather the fact that he had the courage to relive his harrowing story and time and time again found ways to save those he loved.  Novels such as these aid in keeping the memory of the Holocaust alive. So many today still attempt to disprove the relevance of the Holocaust, or the event in its entirety. Not only do these personal stories give the reader a glimpse into the world these survivors suffered through, but they remind us of the power of hope when it comes to survival.  Sokolov marked thousands with their numbers, but he himself was marked by hope the day he met Gita, and this is what kept him alive. Morris’s skilled retelling of Sokolov’s story, along with her vivid use of sensory imagery and memory gives the reader as close to Sokolov’s experience as one can get through words.

Summertime is almost here! The weather is great (finally!), the birds are chirping, and yet, you are still eating your disgusting plain instant ramen. How sad. However, I offer to you a solution — here are two delicious and medium effort recipes that you can make for yourself and share with your friends (this assumes you have them). These recipes are healthy, delicious, and taste MUCH better than whatever chemicals you are ingesting with your ramen from its dissolving styrofoam container. Recipe 1: Poke Bowls (serves 3) Did you know that Norwegian Farm raised salmon is safe to eat raw? According to FDA Food Code References: 3-402.11, “Aquaculture Fish, such as Salmon, that are served raw or undercooked are exempt from [flash freezing requirements],” given that they are served feed that does not contain live parasites, which Norwegian salmon feed is free of due to heat treated feed. Additionally, farm raised salmon (at least bought on the west coast) is almost always flash frozen as well due to traveling across the country. In short, this means that Norwegian farm raised salmon is safe to eat raw. Ingredients: 3 small or 1 1/2 large Avocados, cubed 1 lb Raw Norwegian Farm-Raised Salmon 1 cup white rice, dry 1 1/2 cups edamame beans 1 1/2 cups canned corn 1 Mango 1 Roma Tomato 1/2 bunch of cilantro
 Juice of 1 lime Sauces of your choice Cook the rice with your preferred method, then chill in the fridge While rice is cooking, prepare the mango salsa by: Dicing the mango Dicing the tomato Remove cilantro leaves from the bunch and chop finely Mix in a container with lime juice Let chill and marinate in the fridge Chop salmon into bite-sized cubes Construct a bowl by: Put rice at the bottom and mix the sauces into the rice Place salmon, edamame, corn, and mango salsa atop the rice Put sauces atop the bowl Serve and enjoy! Recipe 2: Hearty Pasta Salad (Serves 6) I know many a college student who eat pasta plain, no creativity, no sauce (or even worse, canned sauce), and no fun. A great way to make your past more interesting and healthier is to turn it into a delicious, hearty salad. Ingredients: 1/2 can of green olives, drained 1/6 of a head of cabbage, shredded or chopped 2 tomatoes, diced 1 large or 2 small avocado(s), cut into cubes 8 oz of dry penne 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 cup olive oil 2 Cans of canned fish of your choice Prepare penne according to the instructions on the box, then refrigerate until cool In a large container, break up the canned fish into small chunks Add the olives, cabbage, tomatoes, avocados, and pasta Put on the balsamic vinegar, oil, toss, and serve!

 Summertime is wonderful, and with two brand new and delicious recipes for you, it will be even more wonderful! Hopefully, those of you who are hesitant to cook due to the amount of effort required now can see that healthy and delicious food can be made with very little effort. Enjoy!

I was thinking about three things while writing this poem.  Many Jewish holidays and yahrzeits are marked by lighting candles. On Lag B’Omer, we mark the end of a mourning period by lighting a bonfire. A bonfire exudes much more light than a candle. What is meant to be illuminated on Lag B’Omer that doesn’t receive as much light on other days of the year? While a candle can be lit individually, a bonfire is meant to be kept and enjoyed by a community. A few weeks ago, Simone Rotman gathered friends for a beach bonfire in celebration of her birthday. After an ocean dip, Lior Kishinevsky explained the cute science of bonfires–that if everyone is gathered closely in a circle around the fire pit, the smoke has nowhere to escape but up. Therefore, wrapping our arms around each other prevents the smoke from flooding one unfortunate individual’s face.  The warm memory of celebrating Lag B’Omer at Hillel this year. A lot of students worked very hard to put on the event, and it served the community beautifully. There was so much joy in the air that evening, which only intensified when we transitioned to the firepit. Singing around a bonfire is such a classic bonding experience that channels ‘soulfulness’ and a gratitude toward the people around us. I am always amazed by the power of music and the shared responsibility of keeping a fire alive. (On a personal note, I had so much fun jamming on the ukulele next to Allen with his guitar and singing with a community that makes me feel so loved. My 20th birthday has become one of my favorite memories).  With that in mind, I hope you enjoy my poem, “Lag B’Omer.” Lag B’Omer I know us by a series of candles. Wax formations raise mountain ranges dripping vital colors as we design our landmarks.  I incarnate bright eyes at my fingertips disguised by a lapse in light years. We pretend time is soft to the touch and countable as the strands of gravity  braided in our hair, sizzling when brushed  across this stubborn sweetness– The musicality of string and song  in one breath: Your lips, our milky way. Your expression, the universe. I want to know everything.  The peaks and valleys of your portrait. The orbit of glances exchanged  through the smolder and cellophane. To be recognized by light, remembered by warmth,  held by a circle of friends– Perfectly arranged so that no one faces  the smoke alone, so that storm clouds  are coerced back towards the cosmos  until they find somewhere to fall nose over toes, swooning through the root system that is our legacy,  filling cups and buckets to hand off  when we notice emptiness, to put out the fires when some star flies too close to our earth. In pitch forest, we help another cut off the burdens that eclipse  our sunshine, your voice and hand that has led me to the land of honey  and firewood. That has taught me  to see and be seen in the dark.

Rabbi Jacobs is a Reform rabbi and the president of the Union for Reform Judaism. He spent 20 years as the rabbi of Westchester Reform Temple in Scarsdale, NY. Rabbi Jacobs is married to Susan K. Freedman and has three adult children. Q: W here are you from? A: I was born in New York City. Then my family moved to Orange County, California, where I spent my elementary, middle school, and high school years. Then headed off to the great University of California, Santa Barbara. Q: What was your religious upbringing like throughout your childhood? A: I went as a little guy to a conservative synagogue in New York, my family moved to Orange County, and we joined a fairly traditional, as in traditional practice, reform synagogue. I went to summer camp at an amazing place to go to California called Camp Swig, which was phenomenal. Q: What inspired you to become a rabbi? A: At UCSB, I took this history of Western philosophy was a year long course. It was really intense. And the professor made these disparaging comments about Judaism, you know, basically saying it was outdated, it really wasn't relevant to the modern world. And I went to his office hours and I said, 'Professor Weball, where do you get that?' He goes, yeah, I'm not really sure, but you should find somebody who can give you a really kind of expert view of Judaism. And that's how I got to Richard Hecht. He was still working on his PhD at UCLA, and I signed up for this guy's class. I didn't know anything about him but I walked into his class, and frankly, it was like the equivalent of him taking me by the shoulder and saying, 'sit down, you're gonna enjoy this, and we're gonna learn a lot.' I just locked in, took a year of classes there, and I would go to his office hours and want to talk more about the different issues. 
 Q: What congregations have you worked with? 
 A: When I was a student rabbi, I worked in Phoenix, Arizona, and I would fly every other weekend, and this was a great community of 100 households. I was like a total kid, I was 22 years old, and I was the only rabbi there... I didn't know how to do most things. It was like they'd ask me these questions and I said, you know, I'll get back to you on that, and then I'd go call one of my professors and be like 'what do I what with this?' But I loved it. I worked as an intern at Temple Isaiah, I took it as a part-time job because I was also dancing and choreographing, and began a PhD in ritual dance at NYU. So I was like trying to do a lot of different things. Then I worked there for about a decade, and then I went to the Congregation in Westchester, New York, and then I did that for 19 years. Then I got a knock on my door to interview for this job, leading the reformed movement, and I thought, nah, I don't wanna do that. I love being a rabbi, but I went I talked, I got really excited because this would allow me to try and think of things on a broader scale. I kind of make sure Jewish life is going to be alive and engaging and thriving, and it felt to me like, you know, it needed a giant reboot. So I started that 13 years ago, and here I am. 
 Q: How would you describe the core values of Reform Judaism to someone unfamiliar with it? A: It is to always be willing to adapt and change. Reform is in our name, right? Reform means never thinking that you have the final iteration of Jewish life. I mean, look at the 3,000-plus years of Jewish life. In fact, there are major renovations or reinventions of what it means to be Jewish. 
And so I think reform has always taken the view that that's not a downside. That's a huge opportunity. When people said, you know, Kashut is only these particular practices, and we want to make sure that eating is a sacred act, but why only these, why not those as well? So I think the willingness to think about the core principles, you know, building Judaism on deep learning and uh spiritual practice and an innate belief that every human is created in the divine image. 
Some of what makes life most meaningful are those other elements. 
 Q: What role do you feel like you personally have played in the reform movement since taking on this new role of yours? A: We see right now that more Jews are not connected to Jewish institutions than are. That's true for Hillels, synagogues, day schools, camps, and federations. There are more Jews who are coming to nothing, and I saw that. It's an urgent, urgent priority. 
Are we going to walk away and just say, 'I guess most people aren't interested, we're done,' or are we going to shrink and shrink and shrink, and the last person out turn out the lights? So I really prioritized from the beginning, this notion that the people outside weren't necessarily outside because they were uninterested, but they hadn't found something that spoke to them. 
And I related to that personally, because when I was a kid, a lot of what I experienced in my synagogue wasn't really what spoke to me, but when I looked, I found that. So we built bridges for people to come in and experience Jewish life. One of my earliest commitments was to somebody called Audacious Hospitality , which said that we needed to be particularly welcoming of interfaith families, people who had one Jewish parent, Jews of color, LGBTQ, people with disabilities, people with different viewpoints, and so on.
I just thought the richness of that diversity would give us strength and creativity. Q: When within the reform movement would you say that it became more accepted to have female rabbis? A: So we ordained the first woman in 72. But you're right to ask the question about when they were really accepted? Because that first group of women rabbis had a rough go. 
When I became the rabbi up in Westchester, my associate rabbi was this amazing woman who told me, 'Rick, I know you're Mr., like gotta change everything, but I want to appeal to you that we should you should wear a robe on Shabbat. And I'm gonna tell you it's the feminist reason to wear a robe.'
I thought it was a feminist reason that we should get rid of them. She said, 'No, I'll bet you any amount of money you've never been asked about your suit that you've worn to Temple, or the nature of your haircut. But here's the thing, I would give a high Holly service,' she told me, 'and people would not comment on my ideas or my sermon, they'd come up and talk about the blue suit that I was wearing, or why I got a different haircut.' And she said they were already treating her not like a rabbi, but somebody who was either their daughter or their colleague. She says, 'If we were robes, we would take out some of that whole visual that you're seeing people gendered in that way.' I tell you that story now, because it carries into everything I try to do. Q: What's the biggest challenge facing the reform movement right now? A: I think I think in some ways, one of the big challenges is our incredible diversity. 
It's our greatest strength. It can be a huge challenge. For example, like in a synagogue, you have people who are more traditional in their practice, some less so, and frankly, you still want people to feel like we're part of one community, right? 
So, kind of how do we let people make their own thoughtful choices as individuals, but still feel like we're a community, and something binds us together that that's compelling. I think one of the things that we're really struggling with is how to reinvent that tradition and hold on to things that are timeless. Some things should not be changed, like like all humans will create the image of God, so when the current administration of the United States wants to deport, dehumanize, and demonize people. We're obligated to treat every human being as a child of God with inherent rights and dignity. 
So I just think balancing the tradition and innovation is the very place where reform Judaism has to struggle and grow.

Just click the link... I promise it's not a virus- Allen

Here are some super yummy kosher for Passover recipes! Toffee Chocolate Matzah  Ingredients: 4-5 lightly salted matzos (preferably the Streit's brand - see note below) 2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter 1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar 1 (12-ounce) bag semi-sweet chocolate chips (I use Ghirardelli) 1 heaping cup chopped pecans (toasted if desired, for maximum flavor - see note below) - optional  ½ teaspoon sea salt flakes or kosher salt Instructions: Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with heavy duty aluminum foil, making sure the foil goes up and over the edges, and top with a sheet of parchment paper. Cover the baking sheet with the matzos, cutting and piecing them together as necessary to fill the entire pan. Make the toffee: Combine butter and brown sugar in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a whisk, until the mixture comes to a boil. (If it looks like it’s separating, just keep stirring; it will come together.) Once the mixture comes to a boil, continue cooking and stirring for another 3 minutes until foamy and thickened. (Be extra careful -- the toffee will be very hot!) Immediately pour the toffee over the matzos and, using a spatula, spread into an even layer. Put the pan into the oven and bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until the toffee topping is crackled and bubbling all over. Remove the pan from the oven and place on wire cooling rack on the counter. Immediately scatter the chocolate chips evenly over top. Wait 3 to 5 minutes for the chips to soften, then use an offset spatula to spread the chocolate into an even layer. Sprinkle with the pecans and sea salt. Refrigerate until the chocolate is firm, about 45 minutes. Don't leave it in the fridge too much longer, otherwise it will be hard to cut. Lift the foil overhang to transfer the matzo crack onto a large cutting board. Using a large sharp knife, cut into 2-inch squares. Store in an airtight container in the fridge and serve cold. From onceupachef.com Salted Chocolate Chip Passover Macaroons  Ingredients:  2 extra-large egg whites 3/4 cup sugar  3 cups unsweetened shredded coconut  1/2 teaspoon almond extract 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1 cup bittersweet or semisweet chocolate chips  Instructions: Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. In a large bowl, stir all of the ingredients except the chocolate chips until fully mixed. Let the mixture sit for 3 minutes. Stir again. Add the chocolate chips and stir to mix well. Using a 1∕3-cup ice-cream scoop, place eight or nine mounds on each prepared baking sheet. Flatten each macaroon, using clean, damp fingers. Bake for 15 minutes and rotate the pans for even baking. Bake for 6 minutes more for a deep golden toasted color, or 8 minutes more for a darker, crunchy macaroon. Let cool on the parchment. You will have to peel the cookies from the parchment when they are cooled, but they will come off. Transfer to a rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight tin with parchment between the layers. From jamiegeller.com Sweet Matzah Brei Ingredients: 5 matzah sheets 1 cup milk, or more as needed 2 large eggs 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon, or to taste 2 tablespoons white sugar, or to taste 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ½ cup butter Instructions Pass matzah sheets one at a time under cool running water briefly, then crumble into a large bowl. Stir in milk, eggs, cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla to form an evenly moist batter. Add more milk if batter is too dry. Heat butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Scoop a generous spoonful of batter into hot butter and flatten with the back of a spatula. Cook until golden brown, 3 to 5 minutes per side. Repeat with the remaining batter. From allrecipes.com

Judaism and food have a long and complex relationship — we have entire holidays dedicated to abstaining from eating. We have certain foods we can’t eat, and certain foods we must eat. And finally, let's not forget, gefilte fish. Jewish culinary culture is formed by these very laws, making Kashrut (kosher laws) an important facet of our food and our culture. Growing up, I kept no form of kosher, and up to going to school here, I continued this trend. If you were to ask me what my all time favorite food was, I would have enthusiastically said “shrimp!” Having come to college, I formed a deep connection with my Judaism, and in turn, with Kashrut. While I might not be fully orthodox kosher (I will still eat at non-kosher restaurants as a “pescatarian” with a “shellfish allergy”), I do keep a somewhat strict degree of Kashrut. I may be a Jew in IV who keeps kosher, but I am not the only Jew in IV that does, so I wanted to see what others’ experiences with Kashrut in IV and at UCSB were. The first person to whom I posed the question of Kashrut in IV was Nicole Zar. She told me that she grew up keeping kosher, and that this was important to her, so she kept keeping kosher in college. To her, it is totally doable to keep kosher here, despite the many obstacles. She said that she often relies on Chabad for meals (especially on Shabbat). “Although it is not simple,” she told me, “it is a very rewarding part of Judaism that [she] takes pride in and a mitzvah that [she] enjoys keeping!” As Nicole said, UCSB Chabad besides being a keystone to the Jewish community is also one of the best sources of Kosher food in Isla Vista. Miri Klein, the Rebbetzin at UCSB Chabad, is the mastermind behind all that is food at UCSB Chabad and works tirelessly to ensure that Jewish mouths in IV are fed. She told me that the biggest challenge for providing so many people food is that there are many difficulties getting large quantities of food — either the foods need to be bought from a kosher market, or comes in very small quantities. She suggests that anyone who wants to start keeping kosher contact her with any questions, and go to Trader Joes. I was able to get another perspective from Jake Nguyen, another student who keeps Kosher. He said that personally, he has not had to make any concessions with Kashrut when coming here, and that the only downside to a kosher diet is that it is more expensive. All of his friends are also supportive of his diet, making the social aspect of living in IV easy. He also recommends Trader Joes to anybody who wants to keep kosher, as it is the only place nearby with kosher meat. Like for Jake, Trader Joes is also an important part of keeping kosher in IV. Most of the groceries I buy are produce (which don’t require kosher certification), meat, fish, bread (which is more expensive), rice, and pasta. Thankfully (besides produce), Trader Joes has all of this, so if anybody reading this wants to keep kosher, Trader Joes is a great place to start! Another student, Idan Fierstein, shared his experiences with me. He grew up in New York City, where there were many kosher restaurants, and now living here is very difficult in that regard (the closest kosher restaurant is over 70 miles away). As such, he eats out in restaurants (similarly to how I do), but he says that he appreciates kosher meals more than he used to due to the complexities involved with eating kosher in IV. He hopes that we can get a kosher food cart in IV like they have in SLO. Eating out “kosher style” in non-kosher restaurants is something I understand — even if there were kosher restaurants in IV, it would be very hard to stay social especially with how often social plans revolve around a restaurant. A way I have found to bridge the gap between keeping kosher and staying social is having plans revolve around cooking in my apartment — even though my apartment isn’t kashered, everything I use for cooking is kosher (including hard-to-come-by kosher items like meat and balsamic vinegar), and as of right now, that’s kosher enough for me! I do try my best to keep kosher, even if I am not following the laws to the dot of how they are in the book. Others, however, take a more liberal approach to Kashrut. When asked about his favorite kosher dish to cook, one Max Bloom responded: “I’ve gotta go with the cheeseburger.” For those not in the know, cheeseburgers have not been, are not, and will never be kosher, unless you are Max Bloom. More power to him! As you can see, keeping Kosher in Isla Vista is no easy feat — the odds are stacked against you, and unless you live exclusively with others that keep kosher, there will be some difficulties. While not every Jew keeps kosher, those who do feel a strong connection to the food they eat, and are willing to make sacrifices to keep their diet how they wish. Overall, Kashrut in Isla Vista comes in many colors, shapes, and forms, and is an important part to the Jewish community in IV.