For legal reasons, this is all a joke            Most students are aware of Henry Yang’s upcoming retirement from the role of chancellor, set to take place at the end of this academic school year. However, many are clueless about another major life transition of his… into Judaism! For the last year, Henry Yang has undergone a full reform Jewish conversion, headed by Hillel’s very own Rabbi Maddy Anderson. We’ve compiled a detailed account into this process… Like many that came before him, Henry Yang was denied three times before being granted permission to start the conversion process. The first left him devastated, causing him to completely shift focus to another project: constructing the ultra-controversial Munger Hall. Sources say that the building’s lack of windows was a reflection of Yang’s inner turmoil, having been denied his ‘window’ into Jewish life. The second left him disappointed, occasionally causing his mind to drift while driving. The third, however, gave him the discipline to take it on the nose, resulting in a successful next attempt. He was ready to begin the conversion process! Most converts begin with an Introduction to Judaism class. However, since Hillel was not currently offering one at the time, Rabbi Maddy gave him a spot in her Jewish Learning Fellows class, “exploring the ways Jewish teachings and traditions give voice to and guide our modern lives.” Throughout this course, Yang was said to have engaged in lengthy debates with Malcolm Brabec about the dangers of communal isolation, and whether or not it feeds into modern day antisemitism. Malcolm stated that “Henry, in [his] opinion, took the saying ‘two Jews three opinions’ to heart.” Next, Yang began to immerse himself in various Jewish ways of living, beginning first, of course, with food. He attempted to make latkes, but they crumbled in his hands when he tried to take a bite. He held up the line at Yetz’s Bagels for an hour, unable to decide what kind of schmear would pair best with his lox. He forced himself to try gefilte fish, vomiting it back onto the plate immediately. Hillel services became a regular part of Yang’s life as well. For the first few, he wasn’t aware that Jews read from back to front, making him greatly confused the entire time. This confusion did not subside, as even when he was on the right page, he didn’t understand a lick of hebrew. He also came to the realization that he’d been mistakenly attending Chabad’s Minyan instead of Hillel’s services. B’’H, as he was often the 10th needed member. Eventually, Yang grew confident in the prayers, giving him a hankering to service lead. Fellow service leader, Abby Eiselman, had this to say: “Yeah, he didn’t really know, like, any of the words. Or the guitar chords. But he hummed the majority of the melodies perfectly!” Yang also began to keep up with many Jewish traditions, both religious and secular. He attended a Congregation B’nai B’rith Bar Mitzvah, where he drank far too many shirley temples and didn’t remember getting the Henna tattoo on his left ass cheek. On Rosh Hashanah, he threw an entire loaf of bread off of the eroding IV cliffs, unaware you’re supposed to rip off a piece for each sin. During Passover seder, he ate an egregious amount of horseradish, giving him second degree burns in the back of his throat. And yet, surprisingly, he lit all eight Hanukkah candles perfectly, without a hitch. He didn’t even need to be told what to do or what prayers to say, he just figured that shit out off cuff. It was wild.  Finally, it was time for his Beit Din – a test from a panel of Rabbis on the convert’s knowledge of Judaism and their intention for crossing over. Yang scored a whopping 38%, which is ironically the same percentage of students who are guaranteed housing after their first year. Still, his previous attempt to construct Munger Hall was such a great, lucrative deal, the Rabbis figured he must have some Jewish chutzpah inside of him.  For obvious reasons, a Brit Milah was out of the question for Henry, leaving one final step in the conversion process: the Mikveh. Yang felt it was best to conduct this in the campus lagoon, a symbolic home of rebirth and new beginnings. Community member, Maya Kaye, had this to say after witnessing the ordeal: “It’s been burned into the recesses of my brain. I can’t sleep. Please, someone distract me from this waking nightmare.” While Chancellor Yang is now focusing more of his energy on retirement, the excitement of his conversion hasn’t died. He even filed to legally change his name to Henry Yangawitz in celebration! Jewish conversion is a lengthy and difficult process, but Henry was determined, even in his late age, to be with his chosen people. So, the next time you see Chancellor Yang at Chabad’s Mega Shabbat or a Hillel panel on campus antisemitism, give him a strong ‘mazel tov!’

In the United States, there’s an irrevocable tie between the holiday season and sports. There’s NFL football on Thanksgiving day, the Christmas day NBA matchups, and even the spectacular outdoors NHL Winter Classic on New Years Eve. And no American winter holiday would be complete without the requisite holiday movie - whether you are a fan of Rudolph, White Christman, Home Alone, Eight Crazy Nights, or the more classic, Menorah in the Middle. However, the sports-holiday movie combination gives us the ne plus ultra  of American culture aggregation- with such classics as Rocky IV or the Ted Lasso claymation special. Is there space in this apogee of New World cultural commingling for the Jewish-athletic-holiday movie? Dear reader, I am pleased to share that this hallowed summit would be barren of a Jewish contribution but for one exception.  In my inaugural column of Mazel on the Move , let me be the first to introduce our Fig & Vine Magazine readers to the cinematic masterpiece that is  Full Court   Miracle  (2003). A glorious blend of slapstick comedy and spirituality, the film centers on the struggling basketball team of the Philadelphia Hebrew Academy, doing athletic battle as the Lions. A retelling of the Hanukkah story, the movie shows 14-year-old Alex “Schlots” Schlotsky who dreams of winning the Liberty Tournament and defeating the school’s rivals, the Warriors. Despite pushback from his mother, who serves as the ultimate caricature of a Jewish mother, who wishes for her son to become a doctor and nothing else, Schlots searches for a coach who can lead his team to victory and defeat the Warriors. It is at this point in the movie that Schlots daydreams a spectacular basketball-battle between the Lions and the Warriors in which the teams are dressed as ancient Israelites and Greek warriors, respectively, in a comical reproduction of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid King Antiochus. Schlots and the team eventually meet an incredible basketball player down at Philly’s  public basketball courts, Lamont Carr. Despite Carr not being Jewish, the team discovers that his college nickname was “The Hammer” (just like Judah Maccabee) and become convinced that he is a reincarnation of the legendary Hebrew warrior. Eventually, the team reaches the traditional sports movie climax of The Big Game, facing off against the Warriors, and the gymnasium loses power during a storm in the final minutes of the fourth period. Alarmingly for Schlots and his teammates,  they are several baskets behind and the school’s generator outside only has enough fuel to last two and a half minutes. After the teams begrudgingly come to an agreement that the team with the higher score when the generator dies will win the game, the Warriors immediately call a timeout, with a one point lead and one minute left in the generator. As the fuel burns away, the machine miraculously continues to run. The game continues for eight more minutes of play  and the Lions claw their way back to win in the final seconds.  Despite its poor critical reception, Full Court Miracle represents more than a multicultural alternative to the numerous Hallmark Christmas specials that inundate streaming services during the holiday season. It comfortably shows observant Jews doing things outside the mainstream culture with a heimish  amalgamation of infinite Jewish motifs that few movies in the early 2000s were brave enough to reference. With Shabbat dinners, Kosher eating, kippah wearing basketball players, and plenty of Yiddish jokes, Full Court Miracle is the Jewish sports movie that I think every Jew has always yearned for deep down.

Classic Potato Latkes Ingredients: 10 russet potatoes 4 yellow onions, peeled and halved 4 eggs ½ cup matzoh meal (roughly) Canola Oil Kosher Salt Sour cream and applesauce, for serving Instructions Preheat the oven to 250 degrees Peel the potatoes and plunge them in a large bowl with cold water. Pat dry. Using the shredding disk on your food processor, shred the potatoes and onions together. (You may also use a large hole box grater.) In a large bowl, beat the eggs and set aside. Transfer a few handfuls of shredded potatoes and onions to a double-thickness of paper towels, and squeeze out as much liquid as possible. Place in the bowl with the eggs Repeat with the remaining potatoes and onions Stir in the matzo meal and season generously with salt and pepper Heat a few glugs of oil in a large heavily skillet (you’ll use about ¼ cup oil at first, but you’ll keep adding more) over medium-high heat To see if the oil is ready, put a pinch of potato mixture; it should sizzle and turn golden in 10 seconds Using an ice cream scoop, drop the latke batter in the oil and flatten gently with a spatula Cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side Transfer latkes to a paper-towel lined plate and sprinkle immediately with salt. Repeat with the remaining batter. Serve hot, with applesauce and sour cream on the side  From Parents.com   Cinnamon Sweet Potato and Apple Latkes Ingredients 1 medium sized sweet potato (2 cups grated) 1 or (1 cup grated) granny smith apple  1 large egg ½ teaspoon of baking powder 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon 2 tablespoons of whole spelt flour (or whole wheat/all purpose) 1 tablespoon oat bran 1 teaspoon flaxseed meal A pinch of sea salt 3 tablespoons of canola oil for frying Instructions Peel and grate sweet potato and apple. Using a clean kitchen towel, cheese cloth, or fine mesh strainer, extract as much of the liquid as possible. Discard liquid and transfer grated sweet potato and apple to a medium sized bowl. Add the egg, baking powder, cinnamon, flour, oat bran, flax seed meal, and salt to the bowl. Mix well. Heat oil in a large non-stick skillet. Before you begin frying, test oil by dropping a small amount of the mixture and make sure it's hot enough. Once the oil is hot, scoop out a heaping teaspoon (using a soup spoon, not measuring spoon), and gently drop into a hot pan, and use the back of the spoon to flatten out the latke. Continue, in batches, with the entire mixture. Add more oil to the pan as needed. Fry until golden brown for about 3-4 minutes. Flip and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate Serve warm with your favorite condiment  From momtastic.com Applesauce Ingredients 4 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and cut into bite-sized pieces ½ cup apple juice 1 cinnamon stick 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon Instructions Place the first four ingredients in a medium saucepan.  Cook over medium heat for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool for 10 minutes. Smash with potato masher.  Spoon into serving bowls and sprinkle with ground cinnamon  From parents.com

Latke Making Competition   There’s nothing better than gathering with your favorite people (family and friends) to see who can whip up the best latkes; review these potato pancakes based on taste and presentation. Challenge your group to experiment with sweet potato, zucchini, or even cheese-filled varieties— add some friendly competition to the holiday! Decorate Hanukkah Donuts  Jelly filled donuts, sufganiyot, is an absolute necessity for the high holiday. Turn it up a notch and host a donut-decorating activity. Set up a station with glaze, festive sprinkles, chocolate, and other toppings so everyone can design their own donut.  Cookie Decorating  Search up a simple sugar cookie recipe, and bake Hanukkah-shaped cookies—menorahs, dreidels, and Stars of David. Decorate them with blue, white, and gold icing; a classic activity that adults and kids adore.  Light The Menorah Together  The most special part of Hanukkah is lighting the menorah. Gather as a group and recite the blessings, light the candles, and reflect on the holiday’s themes of resilience, kindness, and miracles.  Dreidel Song and Dance  Spin the dreidel and break into hilarious and cheerful dances whenever someone lands on “gimel” (winning letter). It’s a way to keep everyone entertained, involved, and get to know everyone at the party!   Whole Made Gelt  Melt milk, white, or dark chocolate and pour into molds you can find on Amazon. To create custom coins add edible glitter, gold foil, sprinkles, or even monograms for a personal touch. Charcuterie Board: Hanukkah Edition  Add a Hanukkah twist on the trendy charcuterie board! Incorporating holiday-themed snacks, which could include blue-and-white candies, star-shaped crackers, mini latkes, sufganiyot bites, olives, and cheeses to create a delicious centerpiece for the table. -Jannie Landgraff

Looking for your new favorite Hanukkah gift? For any reader obsessed with cheesy rom-coms, The Matzah Ball  may be your perfect present. Though the phrase “matzah ball” may make you think of your favorite Passover delicacy, this time around it’s all about the magic of Hanukkah.   Written by author Jean Meltzer, The Matzah Ball  has everything you need to fall in love this holiday season: a dual-perspective Jewish romance, adorably awkward characters brimming with wit, and references that will make those long years of Hebrew school totally worth it. While it may be powdered with the occasional cliche, just like a jelly donut this book is certified sweet. It all starts with a dark secret before the eight days of lights: our Jewish female protagonist loves Christmas. While some may see this as less of a horrifying revelation and more of the American Jewish norm, Rachel’s love of the holiday isn’t just about blasting “All I Want For Christmas is You” in her car (because let's be real, who among us Jews can resist Mariah Carey’s whistle notes?). This obsession of hers is something else entirely: Rachel’s a full-time Christmas novelist with an overflowing collection of 237 miniature Santas. As the daughter of a well-known rabbi, Rachel hides her Christmas obsession from everyone like it’s the afikomen. She almost gets away with it too – until one day, her literary agent asks her to stop writing about mistletoe and start writing about menorahs.  In the quest to find inspiration for her very first Hanukkah novel, Rachel ends up reconnecting with an old flame from her Jewish summer camp. To those worried about the snowstorm of Christmas-related content, you’ll be happy to know her love interest’s name is Jacob Greenberg, which is the most classic Jewish name ever heard (for any non-Jews reading this, this is basically our version of John Smith right here). When they were young teens at summer camp, Rachel and Jacob were enemies then lovers then enemies again, pranking each other endlessly until their relationship became more acidic than sour cream on latkes.  Now, over a decade later, Jacob is planning a high-end Hanukkah party called the Matzah Ball. He’s traveled all the way from Paris to New York City to convince Rachel’s famous rabbi father to join. When Jacob takes part in Shabbat dinner in an effort to win the rabbi over, he finds Rachel sitting right across from him. Can a great miracle happen here?    With plenty of chuckles and heartwarming scenes, The Matzah Ball is the kind of book you can easily breeze through in under a day. Though at times the eye-rolling moments feel like an eternity (I kid you not, one of the characters unironically said “Let’s put Judaism on fleek!”), this book also presents a surprising amount of depth. Rachel has myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), a long-term illness often colloquially referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This can transform daily tasks into difficult endeavors and we witness the tolls it has on Rachel throughout this book. Author Jean Meltzer has ME in real life and you could tell how meaningful it was for her to portray Rachel’s journey.  Conversations on Jewish values were also beautifully depicted in this novel. Though I’ll admit the emphasis on Christmas at first threw me off when reading, I quickly discovered that this book is a Jewish story through and through. From discussions of delicious rugelach to those on finding your bashert , this novel is a celebration of what makes the Jewish faith special in a world where it can often be drowned out. Just like the tiny half-aisle of Hanukkah decor at Target, we may appear small but our pride in our heritage makes us as mighty as the Maccabees.    Move over Hallmark Christmas movies – in true Jewish fashion, it’s time to bring in the chet  sound in front and celebrate an all-new Challmark  classic.

As Hanukkah has often in the past coincided with finals week or the days leading up to it, we are lucky enough to have Hannukah land during UCSB’s winter break this year. This Hanukkah begins at sundown on the evening of December 25, 2024 and concludes on the evening of January 2, 2025 - spanning over 2 years in the Gregorian calendar due. The last year this happened was 2019. Hanukkah begins on the 25th day of the Hebrew lunar month of Kislev, and ends on the 2nd day of Tevet.  When the land of Judea was under a Syrian-Greek occupation over 2,000 years ago, Syrian King Antiochus III allowed Jews their religious freedoms in their homeland. However his successor Seleucus IV oppressed the Jewish people and attempted to plunder the Second Temple in Jerusalem in order to pay money to the Romans, who had defeated his father. When his minister Helyodros entered the Temple, it was said that he turned pale then fainted - and did not attempt to enter again. After Seleucus IV’s death, his brother Antiochus IV inherited the throne in 174 BCE. Antiochus suppressed Jewish laws and traditions, replaced the High Priest with his Hellenistic brother Joshua, and attempted to unify his empire by forcing Greek traditions upon the people of Judea. When Joshua was replaced by Menelaus, the former High Priest protested against the spread of Hellenist influence in the Temple, and Menelaus had him assassinated. When Antiochus IV was rumored to have been assassinated in a war against Egypt, people of Judea rebelled against Menelaus, who fled from Jerusalem. Antiochus IV returned to Jerusalem from Egypt - alive and furious upon hearing the events that occured during his absence. He commanded his army to attack the Jews, killing thousands and enacting strict anti-Jewish laws. Antiochus was said to have commanded a 90 year old Rabbi to eat pork, and executed him when he declined. Syrians seeked out faithful Jews throughout Judea and put them to death, and those who were killed would be remembered as martyrs. One important character instigated a turning point for the Jews during this period of heavy oppression. Mattityahu was an old priest who challenged a Syrian officer when asked to give sacrifices to the Greek gods through a newly built altar. Mattityahu killed a Hellenistic Jew when he went to offer sacrifice, killed and drove away Syrian men from his village, then destroyed the altar with support from his family and friends. Many Jews joined Mattityahu and his men in the hills of Judea, and this community of outlaws would carry out discreet attacks against their enemies and destroy Antiochus’s pagan altars. According to legend, Mattitiyahu was said to appoint Judah as the “father of the Maccabees,” and the Maccabees would lead a rebellion against King Antiochus IV to retake Jerusalem. Though the Maccabees were largely outnumbered by the Syrian forces, they had several victories. Antiochus was said to have gathered an army of over 40,000 men for a second expedition who were also defeated by the Maccabees after a series of battles. The Maccabees were said to have entered the Second Temple and rid it of all the Syrian-placed pagan idols before purifying it. The Temple was rededicated on the 25th day of Kislev in 139 BCE.  “Initial A with the Battle of the Maccabees” ca. 1360-70 (The Met Museum) When the Maccabees rebuilt the altar and lit the Menorah, it is said that there was only a small amount of oil which would only burn for one day. However, the oil lasted for eight days, which was proof to the Maccabees that God had taken the Jewish people under his protection.  In memory of the eight days in which the oil lasted, on Hannukah it is traditional to light eight candles - one per day - to symbolize the lighting of the candles after the Maccabees reclaimed the Second Temple.  The Hasmoneans, descendants of the leaders of the Maccabees, ruled and governed Judea following the Maccabean revolt for around a century, until the kingdom was overthrown by the Romans in 37 BCE. Ancient artifacts and ruined architecture from this period have been recovered from Jerusalem and the surrounding lands. Photo of Hasmonean Palace ruins  (Chaim/Wikimedia Commons) There has been much historical debate on the exact nature of the Maccabees. Medieval Christians looked to the story of the Maccabees as models for the early Christian Crusades. The account of the Maccabees varies in Christian texts compared to Jewish text, though their military success and return to the Second Temple has rightfully earned them a place in Jewish history and celebration.  Traditional Hannukah food is connected to the story of the Maccabees. Latkes and Sufganiyot (among many others) are staples of Hannukah, and the oil which is used to make them are symbolic to the oil that was burned for the eight days following the reclaiming of the Temple. I wish everybody a very joyful Hannukah filled with family, friends, and relaxation!

Mizrahi Heritage Month remembers over 850,000 Mizrahi and Sephardic Jewish refugees who were expelled from their homes in the Middle East, in countries including Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Libya, Morocco, Yemen, Tunisia, and several more during the mid 20th century. 70,000 additional refugees from Iran following the Iranian Revolution during 1979 to 1980 are remembered this month as well.   The Jewish Exodus from Arab Lands is a widely unknown piece of Jewish history. Mizrahi Jews from Middle Eastern countries fled persecution, oppression, and death, as their home countries enacted discriminatory laws, failed to prevent violent attacks against Jews, and encouraged antisemitism. As a result, entire communities that had lived in the region for a millennia were uprooted, forced into exile, and left without justice or acknowledgment of their suffering. Today, many of their stories remain unheard, their rich cultural heritage ignored, and their contributions to the societies they were forced to leave have been forgotten by most of the world. When the Babylonian Empire conquered the Kingdom of Judah and destroyed the First Temple in 586 BCE, many Jews were either killed or taken captive into Babylon, and the Jewish population was dramatically displaced. Few remained in Judah. The Persian defeat of the Babylonian Empire led by King Cyrus in 539 BCE permitted Jews to return to Judah and rebuild the temple. This marked the end of Babylonian Exile. Some returned, though because so much time had passed since their exile, many Jews remained in Babylon and the surrounding land.  The expulsion of the remaining Jews from Judea and destruction of the Second Temple in 136 CE by Roman occupying forces marked the beginning of a 2,000 year long exile of Jews from their ancestral homeland. A large Jewish diaspora developed, and communities formed in Europe, the Middle East, and North Africa. Jews who settled in the Middle East and North Africa became known as Mizrahim, meaning ‘Easterners.’ In 610 CE, a new religion emerged from the Arabian Peninsula, Islam. Arab Muslim armies soon conquered much of the Middle East. The Arab conquests transformed the region, and over time, populations of these areas like Syria, Iraq, Egypt, North Africa, and the Levant, came to be identified as Arabs. As a result of the Arab conquests, Mizrahi Jews were classified as Dhimmi, a status given to non-Muslims that designated them as ‘tolerated’ minority subjects under Islamic rule. While the Dhimmi system was meant to provide Jews and Christians protection, it also reinforced their inferior position in society. Jews were required to submit to various restrictions under this system. To name a few, Jews could not build synagogues taller than mosques, ride horses (which would place them physically higher than Muslims), or live in houses taller than those of Muslims. Jews were also required to wear a yellow patch on their clothing. Many wrongly believe that this practice of ‘identification’ was introduced by the Nazis, but it began over a thousand years before the Holocaust. Jews and other religious minorities were also required to pay a tax known as the jizya  for protection. Though the treatment of Dhimmis varied across different Islamic regions (some areas offering better or worse conditions) the system as a whole reinforced Jewish subjugation, shaping attitudes toward them as an inferior group. The Dhimmi system lasted in various forms across different Islamic empires and regions from the 7th century until the early 20th century. While this system was oppressive, Sephardic Jews often fled to countries where it was enforced, seeking refuge from harsher conditions they faced in places like Spain, where the Inquisition and forced conversions posed severe threats to their lives. In doing so, they joined their Mizrahi counterparts in the Middle East and North Africa. After the fall of the Ottoman Empire, countries like Turkey, Iran, Egypt, and Iraq were some of the last to maintain the Dhimmi system. Factors like European influence and internal reforms within Islamic countries have been attributed to this end. While the Dhimmi system is no longer implemented today, the majority of Middle-Eastern countries still have oppressive laws or practices that discriminate against Jews and other minorities, with the extent of discrimination varying across the region. In the 1930s, as Arab nationalism gained momentum across the Middle East. This was largely a response to colonial forces, but Jews became scapegoats for widespread social and political unrest. Arab leaders often targeted Jewish communities with state-sanctioned repression in order to rally public support. This period had a rise in intimidation, harassment, beatings, persecution, and murder against Jews. Nazi-controlled Radio Berlin had an Arabic language bureau, which was devoted to spreading antisemitic propaganda to the Arab world. A key figure in this movement was Haj Amin al-Husayni, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, who famously met with Adolf Hitler and discussed plans for the annihilation of Jews across the region. The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem was also responsible for spreading the rumor that the Jews were planning to destroy Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem, a fear-mongering tactic that continues to be echoed to this day. Al-Husayni proposed the creation of concentration camps in the Middle East and incited violence, declaring, “Arabs, rise as one man and fight for your sacred rights. Kill the Jews wherever you find them.” His words fueled antisemitic sentiment across the Middle East and contributed to a pattern of violent persecution that targeted Mizrahi Jewish communities. Iraq's government also fostered antisemitic sentiment during this time, which led to the Farhud Massacre of 1941. Mobs massacred women, children, and the elderly in the Jewish ghettos of Baghdad during the Jewish holiday of Shavuot. They looted homes, brutally attacked families, carrying out horrific acts of violence. These mobs who chanted “kill the Jews” carried out these atrocities with impunity, which caused profound fear among Mizrahi Jewish populations. Many Jews were betrayed by neighbors and police, some participating in the violence.  The Farhud, Baghdad, Iraq, 1941. (ANU Museum of the Jewish People) There were some Arabs who helped the Jews by diverting the mobs, claiming there were no Jews nearby or hiding them in their own homes. The Farhud left around 180 Jews dead, hundreds injured, and thousands displaced. This event is viewed as the turning point in Iraq for Mizrahi Jews, who feared for their lives and sought emigration out of the country. This violent wave spread across the Middle East, including Libya, Egypt, Syria, and other countries, where riots led to the torture and massacre of Jewish communities. A similar attack in Tripoli, Libya occurred in 1945, leaving around 140 Mizrahi Jews dead. Yitshak Dvas, a survivor of the 1945 Libyan riots recounted the traumatic event in The Forgotten Refugees (2005) , when his life forever changed: “I ran and they were chasing me until they caught me. They beat me up until they got tired of it. They wanted to cut my arms and legs and my head too, with axes. Then they got tired. They thought I was dead.” (Translated from Hebrew).   Sixty years later, Yitshak’s body unmistakably tells his story, his hands gruesomely scarred, and his wrists bearing deep lines where the axe cut into him.    Nissim Barda, another survivor of the 1945 Libyan riots, recounted in the film, “I went into the room… I found children, a pile, six, seven, eight little children, babies… all the house was one pile - burnt. The smell of a burnt human being is terrible” (Translated from Hebrew). Violent demonstrations and widespread attacks on Jews and Jewish businesses continued in almost every single Middle Eastern country during this period. In some Middle-Eastern countries, there were authorities or governments who tried to help Jews during these terrifying times, like Morocco, where King Mohammed V resisted Nazi pressures to hand over Jews during World War II, famously declaring, “There are no Jews in Morocco, only Moroccan citizens.” The Jewish population in Morocco today reflects that of its better stance against antisemitism during these times, though many still chose to leave due to increasing hostilities including threats, violence, and rising antisemitic rhetoric. In Oujda, Morocco, 47 Jews were killed during the Oujda Massacre, along with many injuries and the looting and destruction of Jewish homes and businesses. Actions like these across the Middle East contributed to a climate of fear which led to the mass exodus of Jews from Arab countries.  After the establishment of Israel in 1948, many Arab countries directed their anger on their own Jewish citizens. In many cases, governments failed to protect Jewish communities or actively worsened their oppression. In Egypt, the government initiated a wave of repression against Jews, including the arrest of Jewish businessmen, the confiscation of property, and forced expulsions. In Syria, Jews were subjected to harsh restrictions and surveillance, and many were driven from their homes following violent riots, with the government offering little to no protection. In Yemen, Jews were subject to violent persecutions, forced conversions, and restrictions on their movements, which culminated in the 1949-1950 Operation Magic Carpet , which resulted in the mass evacuation of over 40,000 Yemenite Jews to Israel. These events and many others like them culminated in the largest Jewish migration out of Arab lands, where those who were expelled or forced to flee became refugees.  Yemenite Jews at a refugee camp, Ein Shemmer, Israel 1950.  (Hanns Pinn, GPO National Photo Collection) Following the Six Day war in 1967, Mizrahi Jews in Arab countries faced more severe persecution and discrimination, often enacted by leadership. The Egyptian government forcibly gathered over 400 male Mizrahi Jews, who were beaten, tortured, and humiliated - many of whom were never heard from again - while also expelling many of the remaining Jews and confiscating their businesses and properties. In Iraq, Saddam Hussein arranged the public hanging of nine Jews in the  middle of Baghdad, an event which was attended by half a million people. This event was shown on television all over the world. The seizure of Jewish property and assets across Arab countries following their expulsions is estimated to be valued at $6.7 billion - reflecting the scope of their displacement. The Jewish community in Iran is one of the oldest in the Diaspora. Before the Islamic Revolution, Iran was an important ally to Israel, and even aided in the safe passage of Jewish refugees during the Exodus from Arab lands. Even today, Iran is estimated to have under 10,000 Jewish citizens, the second highest number in the Middle East. However these numbers were much higher before the Revolution, where persecution, discrimination, and anti-Israel rhetoric created a hostile environment for Jewish people. The 1998 execution of a Jewish businessman, Ruhollah Kakhodah-Zadeh sparked fear for many Iranian Jews, and the imposition of Sharia Law made many Jews in Iran decide to head to safer lands. The majority of Iranian Jews left for Israel, the United States, and Europe.  As of today, very few Mizrahi Jews remain in Arab countries. However, Mizrahi culture has had a profound impact in Israel, where Mizrahim make up around half of its Jewish population. Mizrahi influence is clearly reflected in Israel’s food, music, and society. Israeli dishes like sabich, hummus, falafel, and shakshuka are rooted in Mizrahi and Middle Eastern cuisine. Mizrahi music blends Arabic melodies and Hebrew lyrics, and is today a dominant force in Israeli pop music, with artists like Itay Levi and Omer Adam shaping the modern musical landscape.  Yemenite Israeli band A-WA (Album cover of “Bayti Fi Rasi,” 2019) Remembering Mizrahi Heritage and history is crucially important, especially in today's divided world. Mizrahi Jews have contributed so much to today’s society, and their persistent survival throughout thousands of years of oppression and persecution is inspirational. With a rich cultural heritage that they refuse to leave behind, Mizrahim remind us the importance of cultural diversity and acceptance. Speaking about their stories and learning about their eventful history will prevent the Mizrahi refugees and culture from being forgotten. “That we are free, safe from persecution, and in charge of ourselves - these things are new. But that we are here in the Middle East? There is nothing new about that at all.”  - Matti Friedman Interview with Zoe Ziv Zoe Ziv is a 4th year Psychology and Brain Sciences major and a fellow Mizrahi student at UCSB. I would like to thank her very much for her time to take this interview and for reaching out to her grandparents to share her family’s story. What country or region does your family come from, and have you been able to visit that country? Both of my grandparents are from Meknes in Morocco, and I’ve been to Morocco once. I used to live in Spain and it was a very short flight from there. It was really fun, I got to meet a lot of family members who stayed in Morocco. How was your family affected by the Jewish Exodus from Arab lands? Both of my grandparents moved around the same time period in the 60’s, thankfully in Morocco the situation was a bit better for Jewish people, the kings of Morocco recognized the productivity that the Jews brought to the country and they weren’t like ‘everybody get out.’ But there was a lot of social discrimination and uncertainty in not knowing if there would be an exodus. The uncertainty and need to feel safe is what made them leave Morocco and move to Israel. What role do you think the younger generation of Mizrahi Jews can play in ensuring that Mizrahi culture and history are not forgotten? I think things like the magazine you guys are doing and bringing awareness to that part of history is important. Also bringing friends to Chabad so they can see the diversity, I love coming to Chabad and seeing people who aren’t Jewish. A lot of media now is saying ‘go back to Europe’ when a lot of our families didn’t come from Europe. Especially in times like these where there’s conflict and a lot of Israel hate, Mizrahi Jews can sometimes be left out of the big equation of things and we’re kind of erased in that sense because we don’t fit what the anti-Israel people want us to be. We’re not white and we’re not colonists, we were ourselves kicked out of these countries.  What role do you think the younger generation as a whole can play in ensuring that Mizrahi culture and history are not forgotten? It’s important that Jewish people feel safe sharing their Judaism and history with their friends. Especially now it seems like people aren’t as open to hearing about Jewish history, but I think others can make space to hear others stories. It doesn’t always have to be a political debate, people could be more open to just hearing everybody’s truth. I’ve also noticed when watching TV shows or movies and there’s a Jewish character, they’re almost always Ashkenazi. Like in New Girl, there’s Schmidt whose Yiddish and these characters usually mention gefilte fish or other traditionally Ashkenazi things. I think it’s great and I’m glad there is some representation, but I can’t think of one Mizrahi Jewish character in a movie or TV show, and we need more Mizrahi representation. Also, other groups like Ethiopian Jews or Indian Jews - there are so many different communities within Judaism that make up a large portion of the population and aren’t represented. In the past year, there has been a great increase in discussions about Jewish heritage and ancestry. Do you feel like Mizrahi Jews have been accurately portrayed in these discussions? I feel like we are sometimes cut out of the discussion because we don’t fit that white colonist narrative. My mom isn’t white, but people like her aren’t truly seen because they don’t fit that description. Do you feel that Mizrahi Jewish voices are being heard today in these discussions? Not really. I’ve seen a few posts online here and there by Mizrahi people, I know that I’m getting posts like those because of the algorithm. But I wish there was more. Do you feel that Mizrahi Jews face any unique challenges today in terms of identity or visibility? If so, how can these challenges be addressed? It's similar to how when gay people in Israel speak out they get told they’re pinkwashing, and using their identity to prove a point. I think that same thing is done to Mizrahi Jews and Muslims living in Israel. I have Muslim friends in Israel, my grandpa works with a lot of Muslim people, when we speak out we get told that we’re ‘just trying to prove a point.’ We should be heard. It also feels like Jews don’t have a place in activism anymore, which is sad because we’re one of the smallest minorities in the world.  What role does food, music, or other cultural practices play in your connection to your Mizrahi heritage?  Food is so important in Mizrahi culture. We would always go to my Moroccan grandparents house for events, dinners and shabbat. I think the culture of family is also important, it's very family-oriented in Morocco, there’s always a lot of hugs, crying, and emotion. Music too, the more Arabian-sounding music, I love that. How would you like to see future generations of Mizrahi Jews connect to their heritage? I think especially now, the most important thing is to be vocal and not let our identities get erased - we were very recently kicked out of all these countries.  What kind of tough decisions were made by your grandparents when leaving Morocco? (ex. Leaving behind valuables, friends, culture, etc.) Is there anything they miss about Morocco? Thankfully, both of my grandparents wanted to leave, and most of their families came with them so they didn’t face too many challenges. People just want to be with their culture. All of my grandparents' friends are Moroccan, Morocco is Israel now in his mind. Everyone he knows is from Morocco, he speaks French to many of them. When asking my grandpa if there’s anything he misses about Morocco, he said there’s nothing to miss, his culture is here [Israel]. How was the transition to Israel for your family?  I think the transition was good, both of my grandparents were a little older when they moved, they were at the age where they were ready to find a job and work. Thankfully they moved with the rest of their family so there was support for them as well. On one side my grandma’s family owned a little store, so they were all able to work and help out there. On my grandpa’s side he was able to get his degree, the rest of his family supported him and he supported them.  Lastly, do you have a favorite saying, story, or traditional dish that your grandparents passed down to you? A story my grandfather told me: He was the youngest of eleven siblings, so he was sometimes overlooked. He grew up in Morocco and lived there until he was nineteen. The year following his high school graduation he worked to help his family, something he and his siblings did throughout their childhood. He helped a middle-aged man who owned a gym get his high school diploma, and in return the man let him work at his gym for free. My grandpa always shows me photos of him flexing from the days where he got to workout at this gym for free. He works out to this day and he’s probably more fit than I am, which is why I love this story.  -Shani Levy-Richards Sources: Cohen, Mark R. The "Golden Age" of Jewish-Muslim Relations: Myth and Reality . Princeton University Press, 2005. The Forgotten Exodus: Iran." AJC Podcast , American Jewish Committee, 13 Jan. 2020, Link . The Forgotten Refugees . Directed by Lawrence Weschler, 2005. Link Wagenhofer, Sophie. "Contested Narratives: Contemporary Debates on Mohammed V and the Moroccan Jews under the Vichy Regime." Quest. Issues in Contemporary Jewish History  4 (2012). “Hajj Amin-Husayni Meets Hitler.” Encyclopedia of the Holocaust , United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Link International Religious Freedom Reports for 2023. U.S. Department of State. Link King Jr, Martin Luther. "Israel - The Imaginary Jew in Collective." Antisemitism Explained  (2011): 174. Mor, Aharon, and Orly Rahimiyan. "The Jewish Exodus from Arab Lands: Toward Redressing Injustices on All Sides."

Thanksgiving dinner has long been the battleground of fundamental differences for extended families collecting after another year of ever further polarized drift. For decades, the American Jew was exempt; Jewish communities were religiously and politically defined, and therefore homogenous. Besides the occasionally seen orthodox, the Jews near the nexus of American culture have long been overwhelmingly Democratic. Since Truman’s welcoming of Jewish refugees in the wake of the Holocaust, votes have consistently gone upward of 80% blue—at some times the most uniform of any major ethnic group. At most Turkey Day gatherings from Beverly Hills to Brooklyn, the divides of age and experience have dwarfed any of politics or conscience. Not anymore. Two factors have contributed to this assimilation into the culture of brokenness: Foremost, America is at yet another peak of polarization in the continuing Trump era, though distinctly diminished from Civil War and Covid-era heights, and no one is excepted. Personal and lifestyle choices are waved as banners of affiliation to one ideological regime or another, to the exclusion of any other purpose. These badges are bought and sold by a mountingly sensitive body politic as the cultural context shifts beneath our feet. A few years ago, the newest Tesla was likely driven by an overpaid progressive product manager to and from the Menlo Park office of a nonsensical startup. Now, it’s more likely a blinged Miami status symbol paraded down Collins Ave by a gym-supplemented cryptobro to the soundtrack of The Tucker Carlson Show. Brazen examples come in the form of moments of political opportunism and their cultural consequences. In August, RFK Jr.’s endorsement auction played out as it did. By nightfall, it had led to the widespread identification of (previously culturally liberal) natural medicine with the rightwing raw milk skepticism of this week’s modernity. Even the relatively homogenous American Jewry is no exception; families share an increasingly schismatic and fractured world with less and less in common. The glue of religion shrinks in American life for the 6th decade in a row. News, social media, diet, housing, and transportation come in red or blue packaging, and one must choose. Simultaneously, the shock of October 7th washed throughout the Jewish world and continues to reverberate. An outpouring of grief, prayer, and virulent anger has resulted in the highest levels of political and religious engagement among American Jews in generations. Prominent figures in business, entertainment, and government used their positions to advocate for the Jewish future in a burst of energy that has largely yet to subside. But the times are the times, and two polarized visions have emerged. In one, an old, tired, and zionist Joe Biden has worked against the odds to thread the narrow path of diplomacy for an increasingly isolated and pyrrhic Israel. On the other, Biden’s work was to slow down Israel’s just retribution and derail its future security to appease his party’s loudest, leftest elements. In this view, Trump, while perhaps distasteful, offers steadfast support and a mandate for war to its true conclusion: the destruction of the enemy. Therefore, for the first time since the Second World War, America’s powerful and popular Jews did not stand uniformly behind the blue banner. Once stalwartly liberal, New York’s financiers split. It is difficult to overstate the significance of such emblematically leftwing characters as Bill Ackman moving to the right alongside entire precincts of Brooklyn’s densely Jewish neighborhoods. The dust is yet to settle, and estimates vary widely, but it is clear that Jewish Americans are more invested in and divided by politics than before the attack. Some statistical analyses might discredit such a confident claim. One might point to an NBC News exit poll suggesting wide margins for Kamala Harris among Jewish voters. But these sources fail in two places. First, they do not control or correct for sampling biases and voter shyness, an effect most strongly observed in supporters of Trump far-flung from his traditional base—like Jews. Second, they fail to properly weigh the power of rich and influential Jews’ endorsements and money, even if the premise is accepted that the Jewish electorate itself was not broadly swayed. When considering the broader rightward shift documented in almost every minority group this election cycle, that premise dissolves. Other exit polls, as well as the sum of election results from heavily Jewish precincts, plainly show what anyone in the community could easily tell you: in the wake of that Black Shabbat, polarization has—finally—come for the Jews. Historically, religion and cultural memory have worked to maintain shared identity in the face of hotly contested diverging futures. But ideologies adapt, too. The Holocaust itself has split into metaphors of oppression for the Jewish left and security for the Jewish right. New strains of progressive Judaism capture the desires of the young and compassionate to engage in ancient religion without forcing its old, conservative wisdom. New existential urgency in Israel’s physical security captures the minds and wallets of the old and wealthy—allowing them to forget the immemorial duty of the Jew to the stranger. America is a land of competition and optimization, and Judaism has never been battle-tested in such conditions. Quickly, it seems, we will share neither religion nor politics. What’s left? -Ephraim Shalunov

Twas the weekend of Pegisha, and all through Crown Heights, The Gauchos wreaked havoc from the very first night. Fabregging with Yehuda, l’chaims went berserk, While Jess and Liad hammered away at lab work. Already hungover at the crack of dawn, They waited for Rabbi, who slept an hour too long. And as pictures were snagged on the Staten Island Ferry, Gloria downed two Fireball shooters in a hurry. Then they took on the city, but still wanted more. Amit can calmly convey this to Rabbi, I’m sure. What’s 30 more minutes? Not like they’d get caught! Though it seems they lost interest in keeping Shabbat. The girls lit their candles, the boys got to praying. They understood not a word those Yeshiva boys were saying. And at one Shabbat dinner, to help ditch his host, Isaac fake shit his brains out; it was truly the most! When they all reconvened, Rabbi had one request: “Don’t go into the city in the middle of Shabbas.” This they did follow, and by that, I mean ignore. They hopped on the subway as he walked out the door. Their attempt to go clubbing had sadly fallen flat. So they settled for Taco Bell and called it at that. Meanwhile, poor Leah had locked herself out, But no one was ready for Saturday’s bout. Alarm bells were ringing for Rabbi this Chag, When only ten people were at the Razzag. The others were ice skating up at Time’s Square. “We’ll make it back for Rabbi’s sermon, we swear!” Meanwhile, as Nicole stumbled into a Satmar, Jen and other Nic were nearly hit by a car! And despite AEPi men scattered all round the plaza, Jasmine was convinced her man is fighting in Gaza. Where’s Ben and Kiana? Probably together. While Kayla was starting to look under the weather. Sivan, Avi, Leah haven’t checked in since Shuul, And at old 770, Justin’s speedrunning Yeshiva school? Llona, Eden, Ela, were smitten with Brooklyn. Though escaping the UK was enough of a win. And Noam was off making new friends just fine, Even if he looked faded half of the time. When our city adventurers had no more to explore, They found Rabbi waiting for them at their door. Tensions were high, choice words were spoken, But the Gauchos refused to leave Rabbi heartbroken! “Flowers won’t work," said Sam Rappoport, ‘Least they hadn’t panned out for him the evening before. Stuffed on overpriced sushi, Corelle finally solved it! “Let’s have a fabregan!” to which Mendy yelled “Lit!” And then they Iced Rabbi, oh what a surprise! At that point a little stroll sounded quite nice. So they danced and they sang with strangers on the subway, And NOTHING WENT WRONG ON THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE… That night, the Gauchos returned to the city,  Sam Erlikhman was busy, just not with SB. And even though Eman’s Reggaeton was a bust, At least Rachel didn’t leave Finny in the dust. As Shoshana and Morgan took on Broadway, Kevin did Kevin things, as he’d been doing all day. That’s when Misha found him asleep on a suitcase, As did Lior, who I assume slept at their place. Dalia’s voice was waning quite thin Celine’s still scouting out a man for Jasmine And also, where’s Julia? Or Lea? Or Paris? No way Ariel has been “napping” through all this! Though the Gauchos were groggy that bright Sunday morning, And Danielle was fighting off mild food poisoning, We got back to Cali more connected and Jewish Then ever before, and that’s all one could wish. So thank you, Rabbi Gershon, for the time of our lives, And for letting me go on Pegisha three times. When it comes to Chabad, there’s none like our own. Don’t believe me? Just go ask #BenBasson! -Allen Schultz

Mom’s Roasted Chicken Matzo Ball Soup  Midterms, 50° weather, flu season—there’s nothing  better than cozying up to my mom’s roasted chicken matzo ball soup. Flavorful broth, fluffy matzo balls, and  all the chicken meat you can imagine.  6 - 8 Servings  Preheat oven to 450 ° Prep Time: 30 mins & 1 hour chilling time  Cook Time: 1 hour  Matzo Ball Ingredients  2 cups matzo meal  ½ schmaltz melted  2 tablespoons minced dill  2 teaspoons kosher salt  6 eggs beaten  ⅔ cup seltzer water  Soup Ingredients  2 pounds bone-in, skin-on chicken legs  1 pound carrots, scrubbed and cut into 1-inch pieces  1 pound parsnips, scrubbed and cut into 1-inch pieces  1 medium yellow onion, diced  2 tablespoons virgin olive oil  Kosher salt and black pepper 8 cups chicken stock  ¼ cup dill  1 teaspoon grated lemon zest   Matzo Balls:  in a large bowl, stir together matzo meal ,  melted schmaltz , dill , salt , and eggs , Gently stir in s eltzer water , until incorporated. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Scoop the chilled matzo mixture into ¼-cup balls, using wet hands to roll them until smooth; aim for 14 matzo balls. Add the matzo balls, one at a time, to the boiling water. Reduce the heat to maintain a simmer, cover, and cook until fluffy and tender, about 1 hour. Remove from the heat, cover, and let sit for 15 minutes, then keep warm until the soup is ready. For the soup: While the matzo balls cook, preheat the oven to 450°F.  On a half sheet pan, toss together the chicken legs , carrots,   parsnips , onion , olive oil , and a heavy pinch each of salt and pepper , then arrange the legs skin-side up on the pan. Roast for 30 minutes, until the vegetables and chicken are lightly golden. Transfer the vegetables and chicken to a large pot and cover with the stock and 4 cups water.  Bring to a simmer over medium-high heat, then reduce the heat to maintain a low simmer and cook until the chicken is extremely tender, about 30 minutes. Using a ladle, skim off any fat from the top of the liquid and discard. Remove from the heat and keep warm. Transfer the chicken legs to a bowl and let cool slightly. Once they are cool enough to handle, use two forks to shred the meat and discard the skin and bones. Stir the shredded chicken, dill, and  lemon zest into the soup, then taste and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the cooked matzo balls to serving bowls, then ladle the soup over and serve. Sweet Kugel   Kugel is eaten on Friday night shabbos,  the holiest day of the week. This baked casserole is sweet, crunchy, custardy, and bound to finish off  a stressful week on a sweet note.  10 - 12 Servings  Preheat oven to 350 ° Cook Time: 1 hour  Ingredients  12 ounces of egg noodles 1 stick margarine, melted  2 eggs beaten  1 large apple, unpeeled, cored, and chopped  ¾ cup seedless golden raisins  ¼ cup brown sugar  3 tablespoons lemon juice  ⅛ teaspoon cinnamon  Cook and drain noodles according to package directions.  In a large bowl, toss hot noodles with margarine.  Stir in eggs, fruits, sugar, lemon juice, and cinnamon,  Spoon into prepared pan (13 x 9 x 2-inch pan, greased)  Bake for 50 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for 10 minutes more, or until lightly browned.  -Jannie Landgraff

As the fall quarter comes to a close, we thought this would be a good chance to give an update on what Santa Barbara Jews got up to the past month! The energy and joy felt in this community have been palpable this quarter compared to last year and are a testament to the strength of our community.  There were a plethora of events held by Hillel and Chabad along with other Jewish organizations on campus that greatly contributed to this overall feeling, and made many individuals including myself feel very excited to get more involved in the UCSB Jewish community. I attended many of these events myself along with helping lead a handful of Shabbat services and have felt such an overwhelming amount of love and support from everyone I’ve come across. Some notable events this month included Israeli Dance Night, Sukkah Building & Decorating, Shakshuka in the Sukkah, S’mores & Speed Friending, Lunch in the Park, along with many various Shabbats featuring super yummy food. As I’ve been asking around trying to gauge what specific events other Jews in our community have enjoyed this month, food-related events have come up every time and seem to be a common thread across the board. I personally can attest that the catering at Hillel is top-tier, and many Jews and non-Jews alike show up every Friday to partake in a delicious meal. Additionally, many of the individuals I talked with spoke very enthusiastically about their love for the Jewish community in Santa Barbara and their excitement for going to events. I did not feel quite this same enthusiasm when talking to people last year and am so appreciative of the continued effort and dedication that Jewish organizations on campus have to enhancing the overall Jewish student experience. Our community here is truly so special and I feel so grateful for every individual I have gotten to meet and talk to.  Overall Jewish life this month has been very active and has led to the continuation of making memories, deepening connections, and spreading joy - all while strengthening our community as a whole! So while we all soak up the last of fall quarter, I hope there is shared excitement for what is to come! -Abby Eiselman

The Jewish people understand that our lives do not exist in a vacuum, but are rather part of an ever-evolving and ever-repeating story. We see this in all walks of life, from global tragedies to joyous celebrations. And sometimes in strange occurrences, like spontaneous road trips to the middle of nowhere. In a world full of deserts, we find ourselves as wanderers. This was no different for these two idiots, and their wild, spiritual adventure to Death Valley… Thus, we embark on the familiar story of Exodus . Shortly before Hashem executed his tenth plague – taking the lives of every Egyptian’s first-born child – he instructed the Jews to mark their doors with the sacrificial blood of the lamb, making it easier for his angel of death to pass over them. Therefore, it only made sense that this journey began with a similar sacrifice: an innocent bunny rabbit, hopping across the 90 Freeway. Albeit, the driver who hit it may have been less intentional than his ancestors, with a now blood-stained bumper, their journey into the heart of Death Valley was protected from the angel of death.  After attempting to sleep in a random parking lot, we, like Moses, were issued a proclamation by the law of the land: “get out!” Only our Pharaoh was a park ranger in tight-fitting khaki pants and a trail mix-stained shirt. With that, we began our long expedition to the promised land! Unfortunately, with an angry ranger on our tail, we had little time for the Guaca-salsa we acquired at Trader Joe's to coagulate. But if our ancestors could make do with unleavened bread, then maybe, just maybe, we could deal with eating our Trader Joe's Chili & Lime Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips without a dip. On our first hike of the day – Natural Bridge – we discovered a hidden passage through the canyon, which took us sky-high (20 feet or so). We can only imagine that our view from above felt similar to the triumph of the Jewish people when they witnessed the Red Sea. Yet, just as Pharaoh and his men had begun to chase the Israelites, we too found ourselves cornered. Another set of hikers were venturing up the narrow passage, and we were quite concerned about falling onto them. Not to mention, they didn’t seem to hear us screaming that we were coming down. However, we learned from the great Moshe that there’s power in communicating through rocks. So we began throwing tiny pebbles down the passage, making them aware of our presence. And this, B’’H, was enough to clear a path back onto the hiking trail. Soon, we encountered OUR Red Sea: the Badwater Basin. Living up to its name, this basin was quite bad at having water. In fact, it had no water, giving us the confidence that we could easily cross from one side to the other, just as the Israelites had crossed the sea. We were sorely mistaken. Steps turned to miles, minutes turned to hours, and the horizon of the other side appeared ever so close, and yet so far away. We had lost track of our conversation, replacing it with the occasional “pretty sure we’re halfway there!” and “we’re actually so close!” We were neither. The ground was waning thin, and our shoes began to sink into the muddy, salty surface of the basin. Falling ankle-high, then knee-high into what felt like quicksand, it appeared all hope was lost. But then, a sign from Hashem… Above us was an upside-down rainbow. Don’t ask us how it worked, ‘cause we have no idea. Stil l, it inspired us to trek on, raw dogging the jagged salt, shoes in hand, until we finally returned to the car. Scarred, beaten, but possessed by the determination of the Israelites, we ventured on, in search of the promised land. Through it all, Miriam (Maya) continued to dance with her timbrels, singing songs of redemption: Abba! Our next hike – Sidewinder Canyon – may not have been 40 years, but holy shit did it feel like it. Trudging aimlessly through canyon after canyon, we were unsure how much more hiking we could endure. But we come from a lineage of nomads! Making aliyah was in our blood! It would be foolish to stop now, even with an undetermined amount of miles left on our journey. This resilience was rewarded with a stunning sunset atop our Mount Sanai – Dante’s Point. And we certainly received something just as spectacular as the Ten Commandments: at least ten solid pictures from golden hour! Like Moshe, we felt content, fulfilled, and proud of the journey we’d undergone. But to our surprise, the people below had resorted to a lifestyle of sin. Just across the border of Nevada, we stopped at a part-casino, part-restaurant, part-convenience store, part-entertainment bar, part-gas station, part-petting zoo. A man in a pumpkin suit sang wretched renditions of Piano Man  and Ice Ice Baby . And worse, he played the harmonica. We know not what was in the meat we were served, but we are quite certain it wasn’t the meat it was supposed to be. Guests were wasting their money away on the same five, rigged slot machines, and they were drinking! The Jews never drink! Not to mention, they’d constructed their own Golden Calf.  Moshe, the good man he was, did not give up on his people, so we were sure to not give up on ours! Just as he ventured back up Mount Sanai to once again speak to the burning bush, we ventured back up Dante’s Point the following morning for sunrise. Witnessing the glorious valley in its surreal wholeness, it all seemed so clear. This land, handcrafted by Hashem, could never be spoiled, regardless of the sins of the people. Certainly, no man-made problems could ever be responsible for destroying such a land, nor could the smog of such man-made problems be the reason why this sunrise looked so beautiful. Our faith in the world had returned, and we were ready for our final stop of the trip: the long-forsaken promised land! Ahead of us were miles of the vast, soft Mesquite sand dunes, which we ran through for hours! The sun beamed down with Hashem’s warmth! A cool breeze wisped us along like the shores of Tel Aviv! We knew no matter how many Goliaths we would encounter on our voyage back home, we had finally made it to where we were meant to be! We see the stories of our people turn up time and time again. In the best moments, and the worst, and the strangest, we can call on our ancestors' innate knowledge for help. Our journeys will be long and arduous, but if we remain steadfast in determination and joy, we too will end up exactly where we’re supposed to be. That being said, we hope that in your future journeys, no animals will need to be harmed along the way.  -Maya Kaye and Allen Schultz